Trump's Classic Rock Nicknames For Other World Leaders

September 22, 2017

 

In case you missed it, on two occasions this past week Trump has called Kim Jong-Un "Rocket Man", once in a tweet and the other in his speech to the United Nations General Assembly. While others have pointed out the nicknames silliness I've been living up the awesomeness that is the moment Classic Rock met political theater.  Quick Disclaimer: I was the "winner" wearing the REO Speedwagon vintage concert-tee in the ninth grade, the year 1996. Trump's new badass nickname for Kim Jong-Un got me thinking if Trump gave other world leaders Classic Rock nicknames what would they be? I believe I have figured it out.

 

My Methodology: My range of what is qualified as Classic Rock is from late1960s to the mid 1980s with a primarily focus on commercially successful hard rock popularized in the 1970s.

The only hint of Trump's Classic Rock taste is "Rocket Man", one of the most popular songs of all times so it's difficult to decipher any depth to his personal catalogue. Also, Trump is 71 years old meaning in the middle of the Classic Rock age Trump was pushing 40; making him a Square. So I am picking these Nicknames with my knowledge of Classic Rock combined with my general knowledge of Trump's monosyllabic eugenic thought process and his nicknam'ifcation skills.

 

The Remaining 

Elton John Block

 

Vladimir Putin

"Tiny Dancer"

*it's the obvious choice and Putin's 5'7

 

Prime Minister of Australia:

Malcolm Turnbull


"Crocodile Rock"

*There are crocodiles in Australia

Prime Minister of Israel:

Benjamin Netanyahu

"Bennie and the Jet's

 

 

Axis of Novelty Rock

 

President of Poland

Andrzej Duda 

"Safety Dance"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Andrzej Duda  takes a lot of goofy looking photos but when he doesn't he reminds me of "Men Without Hat's" lead singer Ivan Doroschuk

(specially in the 80's)

 

 

 

 

President of Venezuela

Nicolás Maduro 

"Locomotive Breath" 

 

 *Nicolás Maduro  was a busdriver in Venezuela before his political career started

Locomotive Breath just sounds like something Trump would say 

 

 

 

 

Pope Francis 

 "Frankie Says Relax"
 

*duh

 

THE standards

 

 

Prime Minister of Canada

Justin Trudeau 

" 2Hip 2B Square"

*spelled like this*

 

*Trump knows Trudeau is seen as hip;

Trump would steer into the rhetoric to make it sound like he was trying to call him a square

President of Mexico

Enrique Peña Nieto

"Dream Police"

 

*Mexico didn't pay for the wall; Peña Nieto policed Trump's "Cheap Trick" of a dream

President of the People's

Republic of China

Xi Jinping

"Jumpin Jinping Flash"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Trump hypes up people he sees as reserved

 

President of South Korea

Moon Jae-in 

"Bad Moon Rising"

*Trump will want to up some North Korea threats with partner talk

 

 

British Prime Minister

Theresa May 

"Ballroom Blitz May"

 

*Tell me Brexit doesn't feel like a concert where everyone is throwing beer bottles

at each other and you can't escape the venue?

 

President of France

Emmanuel Macron

"Lola"

 

*spend $30,000 dollars on makeup in one month and yea your nickname will come 

from a song about meeting a man dressed as a woman 

 

President of Croatia: 

Kolinda Grabar-Kitarović

"Molly Hatchet"

*Kitarović being one of the most attractive Heads of State

Molly Hatchet is a strong name and their most popular song is about flirting

Druk Gyalpo of the Kingdom of Bhutan:

Jigme Khesar Namgyel Wangchuck 

"WANGCHUNG"

 

!!!!THE GUY'S NAME IS WANGCHUCK!!!!

!!!THE GUY'S NAME IS WANGCHUCK!!!

 

SUPER STAR ALERT:

President of Turkmenistan:

Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow

" Jukebox Hero"

 

 

 

*Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow  DJs and sings, instead of linking Foreigner's Jukebox Hero

here's Berdimuhamedow laying it down. (youtubing Berdimuhamedow is intresting)

 

 

 

 

 

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